You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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