I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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