i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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