I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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