Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
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I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
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Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize