There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Randomize