put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
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his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
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I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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