She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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