i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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