the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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