I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
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The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
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I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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