One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize