I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
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