you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize