In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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