I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
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