it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
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And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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