I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize