I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
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Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
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My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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