Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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