their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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