fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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