I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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