Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(734): View more from Michigan

You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.

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(619): View more from California

I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.

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(763): View more from Minnesota

there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it

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(248): View more from Michigan

And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.

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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(318): View more from Louisiana

I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.

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(716): View more from New York

Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.

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(214): View more from Texas

I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot

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(248): View more from Michigan

You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.

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(404): View more from Georgia

I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.

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