I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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