I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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