Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize