I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
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shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
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I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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