in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize