i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize