we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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