I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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