Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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