I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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