You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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