Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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