she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
