Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
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