she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
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As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
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Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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