i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
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