the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Randomize