John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize