You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
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Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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