Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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