I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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