Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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