The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize