I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
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