Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
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