ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
