i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
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Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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