I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
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